Things are getting rocky in Paradise: fights, double crosses, and tears. Let’s discuss!

Things are getting tense in Paradise, y’all. This Bachelor In Paradise episode kicks off with Alexis jokingly feeding Jack Stone a rotten crab, and him getting super pissed off about it. Next thing we know, Taylor and Derek start arguing, and their fight ends with Taylor running off in tears. In comes Christen with a date card. Jasmine tells her that Matt is basically off limits, whereas Matt lets her know that he is very much WITHIN limits, and he’d be happy to go out with her. Christen asks Matt out and Jasmine not thrilled about it, to say the least. She plots to jump Matt and “make out with him” in front of Christen when he gets back from the date. Christen is also dubbed “Scallop Fingers” after some kind of strange scallop incident—as if the whole situation wasn’t immature enough already.

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Meanwhile, Robbie and Amanda continue to grow their lukewarm relationship. Then, Matt shockingly decides to exit Paradise, leaving both Jasmine and Christen in the dust & at risk of not getting a rose. Dean gives his rose to Kristina, but Danielle also ends up getting a rose via Ben Z. Kristina takes this to mean that Dean finally “chose her,” but unsurprisingly Dean remains shady as hell—enjoying a makeout sesh with Danielle in the pool later on. As this is happening, Lacey and Daniel couple up, as well as Scallop Fingers and Tickle Monster (tragic nicknames). The episode then refocuses on the Corinne/DeMario situation in what is a thinly veiled attempt at keeping the buzz about this “controversy” going. Corinne reveals that she was on some medication that wasn’t supposed to be mixed with alcohol, so she woke up the next morning with no recollection of what happened.

Let’s see what our roundtable has to say about this madness.

Sophie (@svershbow) – Book Publicist, Writer, Reality TV Enthusiast

Haley (@hstrong_) - Amateur tv watcher, amateur podcaster, amateur blogger. Here for the wrong reasons.

Nicole (@Buffalogal) - Social Media Manager in the streets, TV binge-watcher in the sheets

Kathleen (@KatLikesUFOs) - Reality TV enthusiast with a high key addiction to all things Bach Nation and a penchant for snarky live tweeting

Kaitlyn (@bachbrack) - Co-founder of Bach Bracket, an online fantasy league site for The Bachelor franchise

1. Taylor and Derek begin a serious conversation about whether or not they’re compatible for each other. Taylor voices her concerns about their relationship, and Derek responds “f**k you” which triggers Taylor. What did you think of this fight and how they resolved it afterwards?

Sophie (@svershbow): Taylor and Derek’s “serious conversation” was really just Taylor spewing random phrases from her Psych 101 class at Derek who finally realized that he’s dating a 23-year-old. It’s not cool to say “fuck you” to your partner, but it’s also not cool to not understand sarcasm. They’ll be fine and continue to annoy me until the bitter end.

Haley (@hstrong_): I completely understand why Taylor got so upset by that. She was trying to have a serious, IRL convo and he responded with an expletive - uhhhh boy what are you doing. I think he was able to eat crow enough to appease Taylor and understand why she was upset and I think that bodes well for them.

Nicole (@Buffalogal): I think Derek needs to relax and watch what he says to his lady. Taylor was totally right to bristle, as they haven’t known each other very long. What if he has an aggressive or angry streak? Words can hurt. However, I’m glad they were able to talk about it civilly and in an adult way after spending some time apart.

Kathleen (@KatLikesUFOs): Yeah that was not cool of Derek whatsoever. Even if it was in a joking manner like he said, when someone is seriously talking about something in their relationship that concerns them responding that way as their partner is really messed up. I’m glad he was able to make it up to her (which I don’t remember seeing but if Taylor is cool with it I ain’t harping).

Kaitlyn (@bachbrack): I thought Taylor was totally justified in being upset at Derek. I was also so proud of Derek for being willing to listen to her concerns, and apologize for upsetting her. It felt like a real, adult conversation. People are such haters on Taylor, but I feel like you have to keep in mind how young she is - I think it influences a lot of her more childish behaviors.

2. After going on a date with Christen and leaving Jasmine up in arms, Matt chooses to leave Paradise. Are you surprised that he decided to leave? How do you think both Christen & Jasmine handled this whole situation?

Sophie (@svershbow): The whole Matt situation was extremely bizarre. First off, it was so not cool that he told Christen he wasn’t committed to Jasmine without actually telling Jasmine that important fact. Of course Jasmine loses her mind before, and Christen cries even though she’s only known Matt for 3 hours. Everyone handled the situation badly and quite frankly, it gave me a headache.

Haley (@hstrong_): I was pretty disappointed in how both of them handled the situation. They were both being unbelievably catty, and Jasmine took it to unnecessary levels. I get WHY she was upset, but the whole thing bordered on cruel. If I were Matt, I’d probably leave too.

Nicole (@Buffalogal): SHOCKED. ABSOLUTELY SHOCKED. Although, I’ll be honest in the fact that Matt is kind of white bread. He has no personality. Prob just wanted a free vacay. Christen is too sensitive and needs to woman up and Jasmine went bat-shit crazy. They both need to get it together.

Kathleen (@KatLikesUFOs): Neither Jasmine or Christen handled their “love triangle” very well in my opinion. Christen should have been more upfront with Jasmine about what Matt told her and shouldn’t have really pursued something with Matt if she wanted to avoid drama. Jasmine should have targeted her anger towards Matt instead of Christen.

I think they were both valid in feeling pretty crappy after he left. Also, I was really here for Jasmine not being about Matt coming back to give her his rose. I was hysterically laughing at her “IDGAF” expression throughout their exchange.

Kaitlyn (@bachbrack): Lololol Matt was so funny this week with Jasmine. Like, how much more clearly could Jasmine tell him she would be pissed if he went with Christen, and he was like OH great, so it’s cool? I don’t blame him for leaving. It was obvious that he would have to deal with Jasmine the rest of the season, and that drama just isn’t worth it. I was annoyed at Christen AND Jasmine. But I thought overall Jasmine’s behavior and bullying was 100% uncalled for.

3. Dean gives his rose to Kristina, but ultimately Danielle ends up staying as well, allowing Dean to continue stringing both of them along. At this point, is there any hope for either of these relationships? What do you want to happen?

Sophie (@svershbow): DEAN IS THE REASON I HAVE TRUST ISSUES! Seriously though, he’s a fuckboy of the worst kind and he should have abandoned this franchise while he was still America’s sweetheart. Kristina & Danielle need to GTFO.

Haley (@hstrong_): What the s*** is Dean doing right now. I hope that Dean will just buck up and make a choice - but I don’t think he will. I think both relationships end with the women getting tired of the games.

Nicole (@Buffalogal): I’ve said it once, and I’ll say it again; Dean sucks. He’s an immature manbaby. I hope he goes home.

Kathleen (@KatLikesUFOs): Dean has arrived at full player status.

Kaitlyn (@bachbrack): I freaking hate Paradise Dean. I thought there was hope that things would get better, but he seems intent on being the world’s biggest f**kboy this season. It’s very, very clear that that love triangle is not going to work out for anyone.

4. This week, the new arrivals were Christen, Daniel, and Tickle Monster. What do you think of these choices? Is there anyone from previous Bachelor/Bachelorette seasons you’d like to make an appearance?

Sophie (@svershbow): Scallop Fingers, Tickle Monster, and the Creepy Canadian? No thanks. Let me know when Blake K. makes an appearance!

Haley (@hstrong_): I mean the choices aren’t great.

Nicole (@Buffalogal): Christen is there because she cries a lot and is a virgin. Daniel is there because he is obviously not a virgin and completely rude. Tickle Monster is there because….this show is a sinking ship? No idea how that guy ever got on The Bachelorette tbh. I think they are just trying to shake things up a bit. I wish Corinne and Demario could have stayed on tbh.

Kathleen (@KatLikesUFOs): My thoughts on the choices: Meh.

Christen and Tickle kind of bore me, and Daniel is not a fave of mine to be honest.

I would have loved to see Kenny or Will and in my dreams they would get my favorite Bach Nation hot mess Tiara. That girl was amazing TV. Like could you imagine those melt downs?

Kaitlyn (@bachbrack): Daniel is the guy we love to hate (except for his misogynist comments - we just hate those). We were mostly excited to see him (and his abs) back. Christen, I mean, I had to Google her because she was only vaguely familiar, so neutral there. Tickle on the other hand, I was not at all excited about, but then he came out of left field by being smart, kind of charming, and funny. Really glad he got some redemption from his probably unfair editing on Rach’s season. PLEASE BRING BACK BLAKE K. ABC. We barely got to know this dashing man and I want to.

5. According to Corinne, the medication she was taking at the time of the “controversy” was not supposed to be mixed with the amount of alcohol she drank, meaning she woke up the next morning with no recollection of what happened. Have your thoughts on the situation changed based on Corinne’s interview? Is there anything more you feel should be discussed?

Sophie (@svershbow): The Corinne segment made me extremely uncomfortable. I didn’t like the way she kept referring to “medication” without specifying because it makes me afraid that young girls on their SSRIs (not that we know that’s what she was on) might decide to stop their meds. I also didn’t like that ABC clearly told Corinne & Chris Harrison not to say “rape” or “sexual assault” throughout the entire segment.

At the end of the day, we have no right to weigh in on what happened. We don’t know for sure, and never will. I hope Corinne & DeMario can move on with their lives and get past this.

Haley (@hstrong_): I feel like I’ve said all I can say about the situation and I hate to rehash it over and over, because we don’t really know what happened, and two real lives were deeply affected.

Nicole (@Buffalogal): READ THE LABELS. ALWAYS READ THE LABELS. DO NOT DRINK IF IT SAYS TO NOT DRINK ESP ON NATIONAL TV. I still find that the situation is quite cloudy. That is all.

Kathleen (@KatLikesUFOs): I feel like my feelings are pretty much exactly the same as they previously were. Honestly at this point, I am really emotionally drained from talking about the whole controversy and am hating how the show is milking the hell out of it.

Kaitlyn (@bachbrack): I thought Corinne’s interview was ultimately a bad PR move for her. I think people had basically forgiven her for the situation, and the interview series was more about clearing DeMario’s name than hers. It was frustrating that she still refused to take responsibility for the situation and still insinuated that she wasn’t to blame and that others were. But please god, let’s stop discussing it and move on.

6. The past few episodes we’ve seen the show experiment with a new format: the “studio edition of Bachelor In Paradise” that includes interviews with contestants. Are you into this format? Does it add anything to the show?

Sophie (@svershbow): The only thing the “studio segments” adds is more hours in which I have to watch this ridiculous franchise. Someone needs to tell Chris Harrison that this isn’t “Inside The Actor’s Studio” and he needs to simmer. That being said, any extra time we get with Wells is always worth my while!

Haley (@hstrong_): No, I don’t think it adds anything to the show. Give me a finale aftershow and that’s all I need. It breaks up the show and drags it on at the same time.

Nicole (@Buffalogal): No. It is super boring. Please show us more of the beach and it would be cool if they did some kind of group dates to introduce more fun and less lounging in Paradise.

Kathleen (@KatLikesUFOs): I actually hate it. I think it would have been better to do one two hour episode with both interviews instead of spreading it out it, would have made it less draining to watch.

Kaitlyn (@bachbrack): I am 100% not into this format. It feels like they are just scrambling for material because they had a shorter than expected production period. We have had a whopping two rose ceremonies at this point and we are just over a week away from the finale, so I would much rather watch our favorite Bach cast on the beach than in studio. Ultimately, I think it takes away from the real reason people tune in twice a week.

7. Which couple(s) are you rooting for the most at this point? Which do you see crashing and burning between now & finale night?

Sophie (@svershbow): Danielle M. and Wells are the only couple I care about and she’s not even on the show anymore. There’s no way anyone has an iota of a chance besides Derek & Taylor, but as long as Alexis gets a TV deal out of this, that’s all I care about.

Haley (@hstrong_): I really am rooting for Dean and Kristina! I can’t help it! But I don’t think it’s going to last. I know I wouldn’t want to be with someone after them pulling those stunts. I can see pretty much all of these couples crashing and burning.

Nicole (@Buffalogal): Taylor and Derek. They have something there!!! I just hope it doesn’t burn out too quickly. I was SHOCKED to hear they had not slept together yet.

Crashing and burning…hmm…no one else is really too coupled up at this point. Dean is certainly showing his true colors. I hope Raven finds someone!

Kathleen (@KatLikesUFOs): I’m really rooting for Diggy and Dominique. They’re both hot and lovely and I want them to be super happy. Any relationship involving Dean is going up in smoke and I feel like Daniel and Lacey are doomed since she likes him WAY more than he likes her.

Kaitlyn (@bachbrack): I know it’s not a popular opinion, but I’m a huge Derek & Taylor fan. I really enjoy watching them build a REAL relationship and spend time talking instead of making out. They’re honestly the only couple I like - which sucks because I thought this cast had the potential to be really great. I cannot roll my eyes enough at the Robby/Amanda relationship. Everything about the two of them feels made for Instagram in the very worst way.

Final Verdict: Paradise needs to ditch the studio interviews and focus on the relationships.

Overall, the drama in Paradise is outweighing the love. Right now, it looks like only one relationship (Taylor and Derek) have potential to stay the course, and even at that, is it enough to get engaged by the end? There’s been so much two-timing these past few episodes, with Dean constantly leaving Kristina in tears, and the whole Jasmine-Matt-Christen debacle, that it’s hard to think any of these couples have a strong chance of making it. It certainly takes away from the “magic” of the show, which is at its best when there’s an equal mix of drama and romance. The show has finally drawn a conclusion to the whole Corinne/DeMario thing (we hope!), and it looks like there are still some gray zones that haven’t been hashed out. It’s pretty shady on their behalf to a) not clarify the “medication” Corinne was on, b) not address the third party who filed the claim in the first place, and c) not expressly use the words “sexual assault” and talk about liability and common practice with regards to that on reality TV shows like this.

For now, things are getting pretty repetitive in Paradise, but next week looks promising in that we can expect some fresh contestants who will surely bring new drama along with them.

Bachelor In Paradise returns next Monday, September 4th at 8/7C on ABC.