The Bachelorette Roundtable Episode 13×08

Let’s discuss: Hometown dates were this week on The Bachelorette and thanks to Olga we now know why Bryan is 37 and single.

It’s been a wild season on The Bachelorette and oh my has been coming to a nerve wracking end. The final four, Eric, Dean, Peter, and Bryan, took Rachel to meet their families this week. Let’s talk about those hometown dates. First, we started with Eric in Baltimore, Bryan in Miami, Peter in cheese country, and Dean somewhere in the middle of the country. Eric and Rachel marched around and played basketball before seeing his family. His family welcomed her with open arms and he and Rachel were all couple-y cute, and it was the most normal hometown date ever. Eric had never brought a girl home to meet his parents, so boy did he deliver with Rachel. Then it was Bryan’s hometown date in Miami. The only thing muy caliente about the date was the fear in Olga’s eyes seeing someone that might take her son away from her.

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After Bryan’s hometown, it was time for Peter. Pachel went all out in matching gray tops. They went to lunch with Peter’s friends and then to meet Peter’s family. His mom told Rachel all about what seems like commitment issues. Peter was the only one not to tell Rachel he loved her or at least falling in love with her because he takes those words seriously. Totally understandable, especially given the regret he feels with his last long-term relationship. Finally, the bulk of the episode was for Deans hometown. We learned his father converted to Sikh faith after Dean’s mother passed away and Dean felt his father wasn’t there for him. It was heartbreaking seeing the tension between the two of them. Rachel was there to help him through it, where Dean told her he was falling for her. Then the rose ceremony came and Dean was SENT HOME.

Whew! Let’s meet our roundtable to talk about everything that just happened:

Nicole (@Buffalogal) – Social Media Manager in the streets, TV binge-watcher in the sheets

Jaci (@norasariah) – TV and Bachelorette newbie

Kaitlyn (@bachbrack) – Co-founder of Bach Bracket, an online fantasy league site for The Bachelor franchise

Erica (@ericaeff) – Reality TV enthusiast and live Tweeter

Daneela Esho (@daniesho) – I obsess over fictional characters and drink too much coffee.

Kathryn (@florencewelches) – Pop culture addict and makeup artist

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1. There were a lot of firsts this week. Eric was first for the hometown dates and it was the first time he ever brought a girl home to meet his family. What did you think of Eric’s hometown date?

Nicole (@Buffalogal): Eric had the #1 hometown date. Aside from probably shooing kids away from the basketball court for filming, it was very real, and probably something the franchise should look more into when casting. Eric’s family was THE BEST. The most energetic. And you know what? Maybe he was just waiting for the right one to bring home. We ask for experience, we get baggage. We get someone without enough experience, we run. What do we want ladies?!

Jaci (@norasariah): Eric’s hometown date was so-so. I more enjoyed the family aspect of it than anything, Rachel seemed to bond very well with Eric’s family and they were so sweet to her. It was nice to see a different side of Eric than what we’ve seen before.

Kaitlyn (@bachbrack): I LOVED Eric’s hometown. He was just radiating the whole time, and I can’t look at his smile without grinning myself. His wingman crushed it when talking him up to Rachel, and his family was the best. The moment they all started dancing on the couch in unison was my favorite part of the episode.

Erica (@ericaeff): I loved Eric’s hometown date! His family seems so loving and genuine, and you can tell that they’re so happy for him. His hometown has me hoping that he’s picked to be the next Bachelor!

Daneela Esho (@daniesho): I think Eric’s hometown date was the best one out of the four. He’s just always so happy to be around her and I think he’s actually the only one truly falling for her.

Kathryn (@florencewelches): I enjoyed Eric’s date a lot! Loooved his aunt! I thought they received Rachel really well. Eric is so genuine and sweet, and I find it endearing that Rachel was the first girl he’s brought home!

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2. Bryan is an only child and has a very protective mother. Do you think anybody will be good enough for Bryan in her eyes?

Nicole (@Buffalogal): NOPE NOPE NOPE. Having dated an only child (man) and being an only child myself, I know the mom/son relationship is very complicated. Granted my dad would probably hunt someone down if they hurt me, as most parents would, but his mom raises a HUGE red flag. There will be a constant strain in their relationship. Get out NOW.

Jaci (@norasariah): I think almost every mom always sees her youngest as the baby and has this overprotective thing about them. I actually cried when Bryan’s mom and Rachel cried because of how his mom said she felt about him. I for sure think someone will be good enough for Bryan in his mom’s eyes, it’ll just take some getting used to.

Kaitlyn (@bachbrack): Of course not. We know that Bryan & his last girlfriend broke up because she didn’t get along with his mom. Now, I know when you hear that it’s usually a red flag about the GF, but after seeing Bryan’s mom for 10 minutes, I can’t say I blame the ex. Obviously, she’s just really protective of her son, but she was WAY over the top in my opinion. But that also might stem from my overall annoyance anytime Bryan is on screen.

Erica (@ericaeff): When his mom said: “If you don’t make him happy, I will kill you”… I lowkey think she was serious. On one hand, his mother doesn’t want Bryan’s future wife to “replace her”, and on the other hand, she wants Bryan’s future wife to “take care of him” properly. So which is it? I don’t think there’s any way to win her over, and that would be a red flag for me if I were Rachel.

Daneela Esho (@daniesho): No. Bryan’s mother will never be happy with a girl he brings home unless she’s the one to choose her for him. She’s not picking Bryan after that hometown, there’s no way.

Kathryn (@florencewelches): I was worried after hearing that Bryan’s last GF didn’t get along well with his mom and that’s why the relationship ultimately tanked. But Bryan’s mom seemed to love Rachel! She cried! It was really sweet! I thought Rachel and his family really saw eye-to-eye!

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3. Peter revealed he may be hesitant to commit at this point since he does not know Rachel outside of the show. What did you think of Peter’s hometown date and do you think he will be ready to propose?

Nicole (@Buffalogal): I love Peter and actually think this is very smart of Peter. However, he knew what he was getting into going on this show. I don’t think he will be ready. Also, I don’t think he’s as in love with Rachel as he wants to be. It’s ok. Not everyone falls in love on reality TV 🙂

Jaci (@norasariah): Peter’s hometown was also so-so, especially compared to Bryan’s and Dean’s for many different reasons. I think it was important that Rachel and Peter talked to each other and his family about his hesitations. I think he’ll be ready to propose, I also wonder that maybe he’s overthinking things too much.

Kaitlyn (@bachbrack): First of all, I will never understand why not wanting to propose after knowing someone for 2 months is a red flag. I feel like that actually screams maturity, and shows a desire to build a REAL relationship and not a superficial made for TV bullshit on that will last for less than a year (looking at you Nick & Vanessa…) That being said, I have been an avid Team Peter supporter since night one, and this date left me feeling really deflated when thinking about his future with Rachel. As beautiful & seemingly perfect as Peter is, I’ve having an increasingly harder time seeing him with Rachel.

Erica (@ericaeff): I thought Peter’s hometown date was a letdown. You could tell based on body language alone that he’s not totally 100% on-board with Rachel & this whole process. Also, does anyone else think Peter is completely devoid of personality? I don’t get the hype.

Daneela Esho (@daniesho): Peters hometown date felt a little too scripted for a “reality show.” If he is to propose it’ll only be for the sake of doing it on camera and getting his paycheck. Then they’ll be engaged forever before actually getting married…if they even do get married.

Kathryn (@florencewelches): There were definitely questions during his hometown about his readiness for marriage and I think that was disheartening for Rachel and made her worry. This is such a speedy process, and that’s so understandable and relatable. Unfortunately, I feel like it’ll hurt their relationship ultimately.

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4. Dean’s hometown date was the first time he has seen his father in two years, and the first time he has seen his whole family again in eight. What did you think of Dean’s hometown date?

Nicole (@Buffalogal): I was APPALLED that ABC was so intrusive as to do that to a family. It was inappropriate and uncomfortable and not something for the cameras. It was painful to watch, and I felt incredibly sorry for Dean. That being said, he is young, and has a lot of growing to do in terms of serious discourse with his family and sharing his feelings. He is fun and cute, but not hubby material.

Jaci (@norasariah): I felt so bad for Dean during his hometown. I relate to him so much with how he holds his feelings back and shuts down completely like how he did in his dad’s house. His family was so sweet to Rachel and I really liked when his dad gave Rachel the feathers, that was so touching. There was a lot of crying for me in this episode, with Dean especially.

Kaitlyn (@bachbrack): My heart. It hurts just thinking about it. This was such a hard hometown, and I wanted to just hug Dean the whole time. It felt far too raw to be shown on TV, and in contrast to so many of the ‘intense’ emotions that are so clearly hyped up for TV, I wasn’t ready for this kind of realness.

Erica (@ericaeff): Dean’s hometown date was really, really awkward to watch. I’ll echo Olivia Caridi’s sentiment on Twitter: it felt exploitative to air this family drama on television. I think everyone, from Rachel to Dean to Dad to his sister, was visibly uncomfortable.

Daneela Esho (@daniesho): I didn’t understand how Dean even agreed to do any of that. Why go see your family on national television after all these years? It just didn’t make sense. The producers really messed a few things up this season and it was way too obvious. The ratings will be there, let the show play out how it’s supposed to.

Kathryn (@florencewelches): There was definite tension that you could feel from Dean to do with his family – Rachel didn’t sense that at first. Dean’s father seems pretty aloof and not aware of his issues with Dean or self-aware in the least. My heart absolutely goes out to Dean.

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5. We learned that after Dean’s mother passed away, his father became of Sikh faith and re-married, and the family dynamic completely changed. What did you think of the relationship between Dean and his father?

Nicole (@Buffalogal): I think it needs a lot of work, and that his dad also just jumped into something else to forget the hurt, which is not effective.

Jaci (@norasariah): I relate to some of his family situation, I know what it’s like to try to communicate with a family member and have them shut you down every time. It was very hard watching Dean go through such a tough situation like that. I think I understand maybe a portion of why Dean’s dad changed his entire life like that. When someone who means everything to you is suddenly gone, you try to fill that void with whatever you can. Maybe that’s why his dad changed, I don’t know. I only hope that maybe Dean’s dad can open up and allow himself to talk through these struggles with Dean.

Kaitlyn (@bachbrack): This feels like something that runs so deep and has so many buried layers that we don’t have nearly enough information to speculate. It’s clear that very high walls were built, and Dean made an attempt on the episode to start tearing those down, but his dad was clearly not ready. Honestly, it wasn’t fair to either of them to force such a difficult conversation on them in a room full of cameras.

Erica (@ericaeff): Obviously, there’s a lot of pent up frustration from both Dean and his dad that needs to be worked on (off-camera!). But honestly? If Dean doesn’t want a relationship with his father right now, he shouldn’t be forced to have one. He’s 26, he’s grown, he can make these kinds of tough choices. That said, I certainly hope he has good friends (or a good therapist) to talk these issues through with because no one should be harboring that kind of emotional baggage. I feel for him.

Daneela Esho (@daniesho): I think it’s more so Dean’s fault than it is his father’s for the relationship not working now that Dean is an adult. If he wanted his father in his life he’d stop blaming him for things he did in the past and work on their future. Dean acted like a little baby in that whole hometown episode.

Kathryn (@florencewelches): My heart just goes out to Dean ya know? Dean is hurting and he’s trying to begin to resolve the issues with his dad but his dad is just so ALOOF! He didn’t fully try and understand what he did wrong and empathize with Dean. That was frustrating and relatable.

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6. Who had the best hometown date and why? Who had the worst?

Nicole (@Buffalogal): ERIC!!!!!! BEST!!! That family is energetic and adorable and amazing and fun. Def Dean had the worst. So uncomfortable.

Jaci (@norasariah): I think Bryan had the best hometown date. He and Rachel looked like they had so much fun, they bonded a lot and she got to talk with him and his family about why his last relationship ended which is a big thing. I think Rachel and his mom got along fairly well. The worst hometown date was of course Dean’s, no question. It wasn’t the worst because it was terrible, it was the worst because of how Dean’s dad treated both Dean and Rachel.

Kaitlyn (@bachbrack): I think Eric’ hometown was by far the best. Rachel adapted so quickly to his family and you could tell that they were both having so much fun. I was bummed that it came first because it put me in such a good mood and then things just took a nosedive from there. I know the easiest answer for worst hometown is Dean, because it was obviously terrible and uncomfortable for everyone. But I think the most upsettingly bad hometown was definitely Peter’s. I wanted Peter’s hometown to be charming and filled with warmth and love, but it seemed like Rachel left it it feeling much further away from him.

Daneela Esho (@daniesho): For me, Eric for sure had the best hometown date. It just felt so genuine and you can really see how much he cares for her and his family just seemed so down to earth. Peters hometown just felt so fake and a little uncomfortable to watch, but I mostly blame the producers for that too. Dean’s was just at a different level of awkwardness.

Erica (@ericaeff): Eric had the best hometown date, for sure. It was fun and lively and welcoming – everything I imagine a Bachelor or Bachelorette would want out of a hometown. Dean’s was probably the worst all-around, but if I were Rachel I’d be paying the most attention to Peter’s. His body language signaled total reluctance to me.

Kathryn (@florencewelches): Bryan’s hometown date went the best, hands down. Everyone loved Rachel and they all got along well! Bryan’s mom really received her well, which was a big thing and when Bryan told her he was in love with her? Oh that was a dead giveaway.

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7. After Dean up to Rachel about his non-traditional family dynamic and telling Rachel he was falling in love with her, Rachel also said she was falling in love with him. Then he got sent home! Were you expecting Dean to be the one to go home?  

Nicole (@Buffalogal): Actually yeah. Rachel has to worry about himself, and even if you love someone, the older you get, you also think about the entire package, not just the love part. That’s something that Rachel would have to deal with, and I don’t think she needs to do that.

Jaci (@norasariah): I was not expecting that at all. I knew Dean was being so honest about how he felt for Rachel, but maybe he should have waited a few more minutes to tell her that. I think it isn’t very good to be telling someone something so important like that while you’re still hurting because of something else. I legit cried for a good fifteen minutes after Dean was sent home. He opened up so much, he allowed himself to be so vulnerable and yet Rachel thought he only said he was falling in love with her because he was confused. I’m very sad for him. He was my favorite.

Kaitlyn (@bachbrack): I feel super conflicted about this because when Rachel said she was falling in love with him too I knew it was such a bad idea. But at the same time, I know what it’s like to be with someone who is hurting so much, and you just want to say anything to make them feel better. Prior to hometown week, I would have bet my life that Peter, Bryan, and Dean would be the top 3. But after watching hometown dates, I knew Eric wasn’t going home.

Erica (@ericaeff): I was shocked that she sent Dean home. I think it’s a pretty savage move on her behalf to burn him after that gut-wrenching hometown date, but I guess if she’s not feeling it, she’s not feeling it. I figured Dean would be cut sooner or later, sadly.

Daneela Esho (@daniesho): I thought for sure Peter was leaving after he said he wasn’t ready to propose. Dean leaving seemed like a slap in the face, first you make him see his family for the first time in years then he fights with his father and then you tell him you’re falling in love. If she knew his family situation I don’t think she should have taken him on a hometown date.

Kathryn (@florencewelches): Honestly it was bittersweet. They were falling for each other, but Dean still has issues to work out from his relationship with his dad and it just wasn’t gonna work out.

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Final Verdict: When Dean cries, we all cry.

Okay we definitely did NOT see that coming. ABC promoted the “dramatic” hometown date with Dean’s family for him to be the one who went home. Unlike the other three guys, Peter didn’t mention the word love to Rachel, but that just means he actually takes the ‘process’ seriously and values Rachel too much to throw the word around. Luckily for all you Peter fans, we get to see his face again next week. Either way, however, Rachel is amazing and we’re sure she just did what was in her heart! Rachel is down to just three guys now and her husband will be revealed in just a few weeks. Stay tuned for next week!

The Bachelorette returns next Monday, July 24 at 8/7C on ABC.