This is Us delves into Deja’s life before the Pearsons.

This is Us has taken side journeys before. In this episode preceding the finale the show takes another side journey. This week the show takes the time to explore what it was like for Deja (Lyric Ross) growing up. But director Rebecca Asher and writer Kay Oyegun didn’t leave it there. To put Deja’s life into context they punctuated it with scenes from Randall and the rest of the Pearsons as babies, children, and young adults.

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Deja was born to a sixteen year old Shauna (Joy Brunson) who is already being raised by her grandmother. She’s understandably having a difficult time adjusting to motherhood. This was made even more difficult when her Shauna’s grandmother, her entire support system, unexpectedly dies. Shauna has to work extremely hard to support them and does until a birthday mishap has child protective services removing Deja from their home due to a kitchen accident. Deja is bounced around to some less than stellar foster parents as Shauna descends into drug use as a result of her daughter’s removal from their home. That is until she’s placed with the Pearsons.

Randall (Sterling K. Brown) and Beth (Susan Kelechi Watson) meanwhile open their home to both Shauna and Deja until Shauna decides she’s not done right by her daughter and the final  image of the episode is Shauna prepared to leave Deja forever. Powerful stuff. Let’s see what the roundtable had to say.

Mel (@musiccitymel): Mel is a blogger at www.musiccitymel.com, a fibromyalgia warrior, and the cohost of Two Dead Chicks: A Walking Dead Podcast.

Jake (@Jake_Lester): Disney World addict, comic book fan & Film and TV fanatic. Contributing Editor to Comicbookmovie.com. I’ve written some things you might have read… probably not though.

Nicole (@NicoleBlades): Novelist, runner, podcaster, pretend baker, and professional Canadian. Her next book, HAVE YOU MET NORA?, was released November 2017. Read more at NicoleBlades.com.

Carole (@cbraunnj) – Costumer, teacher, massive Outlander fan.. She makes use of her excessive tv watching by being an obsessive knitter.

K.M. (@kwanawrites): A former fashionista turned bestselling author. #WeNeedDiverseRomance advocate. Her latest novel The Betting Vow is available now. You can learn more about K.M. at kmjackson.com.

1. The direction and editing of this episode was so powerful, the way it cut between Deja’s life growing up and compared and contrasted it with the Pearson family. Talk to us about it.

Mel (@musiccitymel): Just when I think This Is Us can’t get any better, they come and punch me in the face with this episode. This was such a testament as to how your upbringing helps to shape you who you become. Randall, Kate and Kevin were able to just be kids when they were growing up. Whereas Deja was forced to grow up and be the adult in the relationship with her mom.

Jake (@Jake_Lester): This Is Us has always made their edits and cuts to where they don’t only enhance the visual aspects of the show, but it contributes to the story as well. The Pearsons weren’t the most well off family, but The Big Three were wanted, and you can tell even when her Deja and her mom were at their best, there was some slight resentment because she never wanted this child.

Nicole (@NicoleBlades): I really liked how they sprinkled in the Big Three and Jack and Rebecca’s stories and moments into Deja’s story. It was different than the usual, but definitely powerful. It help to tie Deja into the Pearson story and show, like she told Randall, everybody sleeps and everybody has their things that they go through.

Carole (@cbraunnj): So much to absorb in this episode! I felt like Deja was the guardian of her mom and the Pearson’s were allowed to be kids. Deja wasn’t allowed to be child

K.M. (@kwanawrites): The editing of this episode was all about cutting straight to the feel right from the start. I thought they did a wonderful job showing how The Pearson’s and Deja’s family live very different lives, that there are still so many similarities. The addiction, the pain and the loss. There was lots to pull from.

2. Sometimes in an episode like this you look for where things went wrong and then worse in a horrible vicious cycle. Where do you think things went wrong for Deja in her life?

Mel (@musiccitymel): From the day she was born. Her mom wasn’t ready to be a mom and she kept some really questionable company. Her mom was still a child herself and suddenly she was a mom and the dad was clearly not involved after Deja came along. After she lost her grandma, she was really forced to act as an adult.

Jake (@Jake_Lester): I honestly believe her mother just failed her. There were instances in this episode where, such as when Deja was going to make her mom dinner for her birthday, that she just wasn’t there and only thought of herself while this poor child was left to fend for herself.

Nicole (@NicoleBlades): It’s so hard to say, because I feel like Deja was dealt a bad hand from life from jump. It’s so impressive and remarkable how strong and not bitter she is despite all of it. Maybe things first went wrong when she witnessed her great grandma die. But, again, it’s hard to say if life would have gone entirely smooth had the older grandma had lived longer.

Carole (@cbraunnj): The first thing was that her great grandma died. GG kept things together for Deja and her mom. Then when Deja first went into foster care, when she sliced open her hand. Mom also made poor decisions, such as “Stepdad”

K.M. (@kwanawrites): Deja had it hard from the very beginning. She was born to a single teen mom in poor socioeconomic conditions. That right there is not the best start and then when her grandmother died it was pretty much the turning point for her and her mom. They lost their grounding force and things really spiraled out of control for them.

3. This episode managed to turn a lot of assumptions about Deja and flip them on their heads. Tell us about the one you were most surprised about and why?

Mel (@musiccitymel): I wasn’t really surprised about any of these revelations. Deja is a bright and loving young woman and the episode only further cemented my feelings about her.

Jake (@Jake_Lester): To be honest when we were first introduced to Deja I thought she was just a mean girl. I assumed a lot of that had to do with her upbringing and I was right, but not about her being mean. She is a scared, heartbroken little girl that is desperately looking for some stability in her life that she will find with Beth and Randall.

Nicole (@NicoleBlades): Deja has shown us from very early on that you cannot make assumptions about her. She’s really special. Randall was not wrong when he told her that. More than surprised, my heart hurt for how much she was carrying on her shoulders at such a young age. She was many times being the parent to her parent.

Carole (@cbraunnj): We already knew that Deja was an very smart child, but that she so resourceful. She was really trying to keep things going for her and Mom

K.M. (@kwanawrites): Deja had it hard from the very beginning. She was born to a single teen mom in poor socioeconomic conditions. That right there is not the best start and then when her grandmother died it was pretty much the turning point for her and her mom. They lost their grounding force and things really spiraled out of control for them.

4. Was anyone else heartbroken when they saw why Linda the social worker removed Deja from her home the first time?

Mel (@musiccitymel): Absolutely. But I applaud the writers for once again showing multiple sides to the foster care system. I think a lot of folks think there’s more families like the Pearsons in the foster care system or that there’s an abundance of available foster homes, but neither of those things are true. So many real life young people are going through exactly what Deja has been through right now.

Jake (@Jake_Lester): Yes and no. Deja’s mom never wanted to be and never fully embraced being a parent. However, the heartbreaking parts were the foster home and situations Deja was put in due to her mother being absent and picking looser boyfriends over Deja.

Nicole (@NicoleBlades): It was sad and unfortunate. But it also made me a little angry to see how easy it is for a Black child to fall through the cracks and land in awful places in the foster care system. The cut to the hand was an accident that could have happened to anyone, even with a parent at home.

Carole (@cbraunnj): I was wondering why child services stepped in so quickly. Yes, Deja sliced her hand but as a latchkey kid I would think Linda would have talked to Mom and checked out the home first before removing Deja.

K.M. (@kwanawrites):  I was. It all happened so fast. Without there even being a home visit? The fact that it came on her mother’s birthday and all too? It was rough. I was also shocked over how calmly Deja took it. She is so steady.

5. What did you think when you saw Deja’s “stepdad”?

Mel (@musiccitymel): Right off the bat, I knew he was going to be trouble.

Jake (@Jake_Lester): Trouble. That’s the only thing you can think of when you know what the outcome is before you see how it plays out. There was nothing good ever going to come from her or her mom being around that man, and my predictions were 100% correct.

Nicole (@NicoleBlades): Again, I was sad and disappointed for Deja. She deserved better. I was just somewhat glad that he wasn’t abusive toward her or her mother.

Carole (@cbraunnj): What a bum! He knew a meal ticket when he saw one. Deja definitely knew he was not worthy of Mom’s attention.

K.M. (@kwanawrites): I pretty much thought the same thing Deja did: “Do you have a job?” her line was perfect. She could see his trouble coming from way far off and I’m sure her mother did too. She was just so desperate for someone to hold on to and I think some sort of financial help that she was willing to look past how dangerous he was for the two of them.

6. Tell us about your reactions to Deja in foster care and the “friends” she met there?

Mel (@musiccitymel): I can’t help but to feel so sad for them. Like Deja, they’re coming from homes with some type of issues and going from home to home. There’s no consistency. Kids need to feel safe but how can they when they are shuffled from home to home with various types of people. All while this is happening, these kids are growing up and don’t have someone to truly guide them. They may have a roof over their head or food, but parenting is so much more than that.

Jake (@Jake_Lester): I honestly wish Deja would have had more of voice with her foster siblings. You can tell she didn’t want to steal that make-up but she was talked into it. Kids will be kids though, and with out the proper guidance she was bound to so something like that. I hope that we get to catch up with the other foster children soon to see where they ended up.

Nicole (@NicoleBlades): The whole thing highlighted how broken the foster care system can be. Children are ending up in homes that mistreat and abuse them further and the so-called foster parents still collect money for “caring” for these already wounded children. Deja’s friend knew how to not rock the boat and just settle for at-least-the-bed-is-comfortable treatment and at such a young age. Heartbreaking, all of it.

Carole (@cbraunnj): I really felt bad for the young girl Deja met in home of the evil Foster Dad. She was already a veteran of the system.

K.M. (@kwanawrites): That hurt so much. You could feel the gut twisting pain that Deja felt over having to turn that horrible foster guy in and lose that home. At first I was not liking the other foster girl but then she just broke my heart. She was doing anything she could to find a little joy in life even if it was acting out the wrong way. The fact that she was willing to take beatings over what could be worse was gut wrenching.

7. This episode dealt with so many heavy issues with such grace. What did you find was the most powerful social commentary here?

Mel (@musiccitymel): Just the accuracy in their depiction of the foster care system. I would love to see this inspire more wonderful families and individuals to become foster parents!

Jake (@Jake_Lester): The stigma of foster children. I alluded to it during another one of my answers that I just assumed that Deja was an angry child, but she’s just a scared sweet little girl that was chewed up and spit out by a lousy mother and a foster care system that needs a lot of work.

Nicole (@NicoleBlades): I don’t mean to harp, but I do think the episode really spoke to issues with the foster care system, specifically around Black children. It was powerful and sad. Left me thinking about how much help and change is needed, and STAT.

Carole (@cbraunnj): With all the upheaval in Deja’s life, she is still a child who knows she can have a better life. She also knows that Randall and Beth are the most stable people in her world.

K.M. (@kwanawrites): For me it was how there is always another side to a story. Like how both Randall and Beth were missing Deja equally but Randall couldn’t see it Beth’s struggle. Deja’s mom also loves her just as much if not more than they do. I thought it was beautifully done.

Final Verdict: This is Us dedicates its second to last episode of the season to some necessary social commentary

There are a lot of things This is Us could have done with their second to last episode of the season. The fact that the show chose to give this critical episode to a minor character that we haven’t seen much of and that they would also chose to show that character’s backstory in such a careful, thoughtful way says way more about this show than we ever could. But there’s even more to unpack in there! This episode never once felt preachy. It never once felt like it had an agenda. Above all This is Us tells stories and illuminates parts of the American experience even if they aren’t the slick glossy parts we always want to see. This episode was a perfect example of that.

Where did Deja’s life go wrong? The most brilliant stroke of this episode was cross-cutting the scenes of Deja’s childhood with scenes from both Randall’s childhood and the rest of the Pearson clan. Writer Kay Oyegun deserves the lion’s share of the kudos here for this thoughtful, brilliant, and compelling hour of television. As a viewer we felt little knife pains to our hearts a few times this episode. Deja’s life was a vicious cycle of challenges and seeing the loving Pearson family made us realize how even one tiny difference in her life could have had a major impact on the way she grew up.

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Will Shauna leave her daughter forever? Is that the best thing for Deja? What was the best solution here? And what will the finale bring on next week’s This is Us? We just pray the show keeps pushing us to question our privilege and really understand the experiences of others on this journey we are all taking together.

This is Us returns for the finale March 13th on NBC!